When expressing common interests and similarities, show don't tell. What I mean by this, is that you should not say "Hey, I dig your taste in music. I also really dig Incubus, The Killers, and Flogging Molly" This looks tryhard and like you're trying to qualify yourself for her. They were here not too long back Man, they know how to put on a show. Up until the moment they were on stage, they were drinking with me and all their other fans. Don't sound too excited. You can show value in many different ways. There is no one way to be a wonderful person.
Quality is a way of life.
I took a class on how to pick up women. I learned more about male anxiety
You don't have to talk about the time you killed a lion with your bare hands. Try your best to avoid typos, grammar errors, and use proper punctuation. An intelligent message with an intelligent profile will attract intelligent women. On top of that, be funny.
Be a smartass, be interesting, be experienced. You're a wonderful, well spoke, well traveled man. Cement everything else with interest and perhaps some qualifying questions.
Has she ever been to any of your favorite places? What are her favorite places? You both like Italian food, but you haven't found any good restaurants. Maybe you have some questions about the philosophy she was jabbering about. Oh, and whenever you mention sex you're walking on eggshells.
Mentioning it in the context of an over the top joke has proven safe. A lot of failures with hitting it off properly with a girl online can be attributed to not asking a girl out correctly. This particular aspect of online dating is more complicated than you'd think. Allow me to elaborate. It appears the common belief on this website is that you should take your time while courting someone online. This is wrong as hell! I did this for a very long time and I can't tell you how many dates it lost me.
You go for that invitation the moment you decide you like her, and that she's at least worth the time to meet! Have a idea of what you want to do with her drawn up ahead of time, and shoot. Most of them aren't as concerned about the whole meeting strangers online thing as you think, and like most things, how they feel with you is very much up to how you act around them.
Waiting a long time to mention meeting because you want her to feel safe is akin to saying "Hey, buckle up, I might get into a horrible car accident resulting in untold carnage" before a girl gets in your car. She may have considered that, but she doesn't want to hear it. Since I've stood behind this maxim my online dating has tripled.
And don't ask her out. Oh, and you're not going to ask her out. Tell her to go out with you.
Try it, you'll be amazed at the results. Hey, you're pretty chill. I've been wanting to play raquetball and have been eyeballing the new recreation center they just built. This one line will prove useful beyond words. I've been wanting to play racquetball and I have been eyeballing the new recreation center they just built. What does this line do?
For starters, in installs a sense of well Talking to someone online really is no way of getting to know someone. I've had nothing but agreements from girls here. If it didn't occur to them before they signed up onto a dating sight, it will occur to them now. No matter how long you speak to someone, the chances of them actually being a 67 year old halfbreed between a monkey and a man as well as a sea pirate as opposed a 23 year old graduate and surfer does not change one bit. Time will only give a woman more time to start having doubts about who you are, it will rarely increase trust and a desire to meet you.
If you feel this is a bit too bold, or that a girl might be especially wary of meeting someone online, tell her to meet you at a public cafe or bookstore, and afterwards you'll continue your date elsewhere. Or sometimes it helps to end the "Personable Guy" line with a drop of your phone number.
Tell her to call you. After you spend some time on the phone whatever feels right to you , then invite her out. Maybe even revise the "Personable Guy" line if it feels right to you. I really don't care for hiding behind a computer of phone all day, I like to get out Same rules for dates apply here, but for the first date make sure you're inviting her out to something that can take place on any day of the week and is available throughout the day and perhaps night.
A lot of girls do online dating because they have tight schedules, so while they may be impressed by your idea of taking her out to a Comedy Hypnosis dinner show, she will ultimately turn the idea down which leaves you fishing for new ideas on the spot. Have a few ideas in mind, and use which ever one you like best. Qualify, Weed, Qualify Who to avoid. Profiles with "Myspace Angles". If her only pictures are from top down, half of her side, down up, and a close up of her face, she probably isn't in the best of health.
I have been wrong.
Profiles in which the girl looks like a professional model in each and every picture. The profile usually includes a short account of typical interests mixed in with raunchy interests. She probably isn't real. Anyone advertising sex sex sex. They're either an Ad-bot for a adult personals site or they're very, very unattractive.
I mentioned these girls before, remember? A girl doesn't have to be an attention hoe just because she declined your invitation out, but often at times the one's most resilient about meeting in person really aren't looking for anything worthwhile. They will waste your time. When dating online, ask someone out once, and move on. It's very easy to waste time on one person over the internet just to have that person stop responding to you.
Don't let this happen. Let my invitation method weed these girls out. Sites to Behold OkCupid. Thousands of tests, questions, and qualifying gibberish that shows you how compatable you are with someone else and allows you to really see what someone else is made of. Plus, we know how much girls like pop psychology quizzes. This site is loaded with them. OKCupid is filled with a large variety of counter culture, suicide esque girls.
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Or even if they're not that, they still have more personality, intelligence, style, and humor than the girls at most other sites I've come across. I belong to another message board in which many members met their wives and husbands over OkCupid. Personally, I've gotten some good dates out of it and have even made longterm friends. And no, they weren't from me being placed into the friend's zone. The quality of the women isn't as good as OkCupid's but there's a diamond here and there.
Likewise, the choice of men on POF isn't that great either, so a great profile stands out for as long as you have it up there. It takes little effort and time to copy and post your OkCupid profile to another site. Start one up just in case you catch the eye of someone likeminded. A lot of times feedback comes when you least expect it.
It's a really wonderful tool. Sure the personals written by women are terrible, and sure the personals written by men are just as terrible and perhaps even worse. That does NOT mean that very smart, attractive people aren't reading through the personals. I've had responses from people that only read the personals for a cheap laugh only to message me and tell me what a surprise mine was. Just like with POF, since most of the entrees are lame, yours will stand out!
Not only that, but the entire Craigslist audience rolls over completely about once every fifteen days from my estimates. You never run out of readers so long as you post your personal once a week. My Personal, and What Makes it Work http: I love myself plenty.
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I understand a relationship is supposed to enhance your life, not make or break it. I'm looking for someone to love. When I think about an ideal relationship, most of my thoughts veer towards what I'd like to provide for the other person. Things I'd cook, restaurants I'd take her out to, theme parks we'd go to, impromptu road trips we'd take, favors I'd like to pay. I really think the desire to provide for someone else is one of the major hallmarks of maturity, and it is one I look for in people I spend time with.
And so by extension of that I guess I'm No one ever said this dating thing would make sense. Anyways, onward with my description" Women love this. It conveys everything that lets them know I can stand on my own two feet, am not looking for someone to "complete me", am a provider, and will be the one qualifying THEM for a cahnce to spend time with ME.
Sentences seven and eight allow me to outright tell someone to take ME out. I've yet to do this, but I'm interested in trying it out. Because of the way I've phrased those particular lines, I can't imagine it would make me lose standing with anyone. I am in fact, looking to be provided for as well as I provide. If a girl doesn't even have an idea of what she would like to do for me after contacting me, she's obviously not the girl for me.
The bit where I mention my multiple lines of lineage has spurred a lot of responses where people tell me what their heritage is. The lines where I talk about what I LOVE is outright monkyed in many responses as the girls try to align with my personality before we even meet. I get a lot of responses about "driving down to the keys at the drop of a hat".
Something I actually did once with a friend. These are the parts that stand out. Everything else is taken into consideration and appreciated, but not outright mentioned as much. The pictures are a good mix. They show my interest and skill in photography, my adventerous side, and me just standing there looking like me on any given day. I'd suggest you go for a healthy variety as well. That's all for now. I'll be around for whatever if there's responses. Fri Oct 26, 8: Thu Nov 01, 5: I'm between jobs right now and low on funds so I've been sarging online to make up for it You're right about the profile being an ongoing piece of work, it can always be improved Plus it portrays confidence.
Sun Nov 04, 4: I pretty much used your profile you wrote on here except for changing a word or two to fit me better and put it on plentyoffish. Sun Nov 11, 8: The link to your carigslist profile has expired, do you have a new one to reference?
Thu Nov 15, 9: Fri Nov 16, 3: On one of my profiles im testing out being picky Wed Apr 16, It's been over half a year since I've posted this thread and I decided to take a moment to revise and update it. I'm no permanent fixture on this board. It's been months since I've even logged in. I'm a guy who met a adorable redhead with two college degrees online and who has been in a great relationship for five months now filled with homemade cookies, great sex take THAT virginity!
I'm quite satisfied with that. Despite all this, it has been a regret of mine for a while that this compilation of advice and information I've left sitting around has been without certain methods and procedures I've picked up after my initial posting. I've known for a while that this thread is still being read, and I really dislike the idea of guys just like my former self beating their heads against a wall over stuff I've long figured out.
The two main additions you'll find is an Order of Online Dating Operations, and a select few private messages I sent out on OKCupid that got responses. Also, since I'm no longer posting on Craigslist, I've copied and pasted my old CL post onto my PlentyofFish profile so that it can be used an as example. You can view it here: In response to something in her profile You sound like you may be like minded.
You enjoy writing stories, reading, and vulgarity. Do you have the same energy? Would you ever consider putting a live alligator in someone's bathroom for a practical joke? If you were watching a dinner show and the performers were asking for a volunteer would you sink back into your chair or would your thrust your hand up into the air and say "Me! You can so eat a spoonful of cinnamon In response to something in her profile I have done it. I will SHOW you. But perhaps an introduction is in order.
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My name is Joseph. I'm a free spirited culture junky, and I think we might have a bit in common. The free spirited culture junky thing for starters. Plus, I'd like to see what you can do with a blank piece of paper and a pencil. Yes I am honest, cute I think you have a very endearing personal. You appear to be very easy going and a total culture junky like me. Plus, you can count on a Naturas girl being pretty hip. But then I wonder Do you enjoy Winter Park's outside screening of classic movies? Or are these things you've yet to experience? Inquiring minds and all that A Most Dazzling profile It's pretty gosh darn succulent.
It's the green tea frappachino with blackberry syrup of OKcupid profiles. Originating from traditional methods and ideas and then warped into something cool, frosty, and refreshing. Like a good book, you can pick up from the middle and it's just as good as starting from the beginning. So, do I ask for your aim screen name or do I follow you down a back alley and be all like "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Wed Apr 16, 2: Online Dating Order of Operations No matter how hard you try to make it into one, dating is and will forever be an art, not a science. There are no universal truths in dating. However, like most arts, there are rules of thumb. Even if there's an exception to these rules, the rules are still pretty damned useful by and large. The truth is the more exposure you have to dating women the easier it's going to get.
Then you start getting more confident and then you start to radiate that confidence. Making things even easier. But it is not the groups objective is to get you a girlfriend. Because then you leave the group and that is a threat to the excitance of the group. So if it's me I rather operate alone. All I want is to have sex with the girl, and if the sex is good and she is nice then I want to make her my girlfriend. I don't care for the whole sideshow with some dudes. You can't be enlightened, no one can. Posted January 6, edited. Intended to give you one advice, but then I got into it.
Posted January 7, edited. Posted January 7, Half-assing is not going to get you anywhere and will probably only frustrate you. Go out like a mad man, but also study the theory and breakdown your nights like a complete nerd. Never underestimate the power of logistics and a solid strategy over "game". Do whatever you can to place yourself around the highest quality girls you can find.
Posted January 15, Posted January 16, I think that women understand that our looks are deeply, deeply important from the male perspective. It may just be a fact of life that we have to accept, even if it hurts or disrespects us as whole humans with many aspects. Pickup emphasizes this, of course. Pickup isn't trying to help you get with "low quality" aka not-hot chicks. It's not even necessarily trying to get you something serious or meaningful. If you are looking for a strong connection with a woman, the biggest obstacle you will encounter from pickup is getting your mentality shifted toward the douchey side of life.
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Advice from an outsider would be to just watch yourself -- try to keep your head on straight through the whole thing. Good luck on your adventures. Posted January 17, edited. There is no easy way for me to say this or ask you this question. I'm just going to try my best, but you don't have to respond or answer the question s , ok? This is only for you to think about. You said that you're in London. However, originally, you mentioned that you're from some place else.
Where are you going to settle? But, if you don't get what I'm talking about, you don't have to respond. Posted January 18, edited. Posted January 18, Posted January 19, edited. I was born and raised in London want to move out pretty soon. But i am of Indian origin. Some say I am like a chocolate Bounty bar - brown on the outside, white on the inside and sweet as fuck hehe. Thanks for all the support guys. Yeah I generally suck at attracting girls so I want to get better at that. There is this girl in my class whom I met this term, she's cool, but likes to tease me a lot.
Can this be a good sign that she is into me? Posted January 19, Huz Yeah she might be. Your whole energy and shit. The way you carry yourself, your whole body-language, your ability to make eye-contact, your values, your speech. But on first sight Ofc every guy is different so All these do what I would call conscious pick-up.
Posted January 20, edited. Are you both non-quitters? The both of you have a long road ahead of you if the relationship is to happen. I just want to add something here and be a little more bold. I grew up in CA. Far too often, relationships are only short term, and they break up easily. It's a huge distraction in life to have so many heartbreaks. It's time to think ahead on what a successful relationship is about.
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment. Sign up for a new account in our community. Thanks Edited January 1, by Huz.